Fun and Games
by thegirlformerlyknownasB
Summary: A series of one shots featuring your two favorite boys- Kurt and Sebastian! They fight, they love, they cry, and they... do a lot of things. Things you wouldn't believe.
1. A Simple Fight

Written on my iPod. Don't judge. haha I promise to finish my other stories at some point and to write PFiggs Got A Facebook at some point.

I don't own Glee. Love you all!

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"Why don't you just sell yourself on eBay? You give it up to anyone anyway. Might as well earn some money." Kurt sneered.  
"Why don't you just buy a bunch of cats and get ready for your life of loneliness? You're going to be a cat lady." Sebastian replied.  
Kurt wrinkled his nose. "I'm not going to be a cat lady! I have one cat!"  
Sebastian laughed. "You live alone in New York with a cat. You have no social life. Your auditions are failures, and no designer will even consider you as an intern. Face it, Kurt." Kurt looked up at Sebastian with tear-filled eyes.  
"I don't wanna be a cat lady!" Kurt choked, upset with the idea of his future. He wiped at his eyes quickly, determined not to let Sebastian see his weakness. Kurt's eyes grew large and sad and so so blue as he looked up at the other man. "I'll see you around, Sebastian."  
"Wait! I... Didn't mean it."  
Kurt looked at him skeptically. "Oh really?" Sebastian nodded earnestly.  
"Uh-huh."  
"Then why do you look like a gassy infant?" Sebastian smirked.  
"That was my body's natural reaction to your face."  
"I hate you." Kurt snarled.  
"Fun. I hate you, too." Sebastian smirked. "Wanna make out?"  
"What took you so long?"


	2. He Said, He Said

"What's this about Jew-nose?" Sebastian demanded, though he was genuinely curious why he had been approached and cornered in the Lima Bean at 7:30 in the morning.  
"Though I am extremely offended by that prejudice, racial, stereotypical slur, I shall tell you anyway; I just wanted to inform you of some things Kurt was telling me the other day."  
Rachel went from scowling to smiling brightly while Sebastian simply lifted an eyebrow.

* * *

"Hunter, there is no way Sebastian likes me." Kurt waved off the other boy immediately. "And it's really weird that you would come to my house to tell me this..." He added.  
Hunter looked down at the porch he was standing on. "Well, this issue is of the utmost importance. I couldn't just call you. And this wouldn't be as awkward if we were in your room." He winked saucily and changed the subject back to his friend. "Anyway, you really need to hang out with him or go on a date or something. You're perfect for each other."

* * *

"I don't want to. I don't like Kurt, so why should I care if he likes me?" Sebastian crossed his arms as he waited for his coffee to be made- it was taking an abnormally long amount of time.  
"But I think you do like him back," Rachel slowly walked towards Sebastian, invading his personal space, and causing him to feel uncomfortable.

* * *

"And if I do?" Kurt asked weakly, Hunter nearly pressing him into the door of his house.  
"Then meet Sebastian in Dalton's library tomorrow after school!" The other boy replied cheerily, walked briskly away, hopped into his car, and drove off.

* * *

"Rachel told me you really like me," Sebastian drawled with a smirk, leaning his chin on his hand.  
"Hunter told me you like me!" Kurt countered.  
"I don't!" They yelled simultaneously, raising themselves from their seats. They glared at each other intensely, slowly lowering themselves back down.  
"So you don't like me?" Kurt whispered self-consciously.  
"Not a chance, Princess. I don't date girls- I fuck boys." Kurt flinched hearing the words. He clenched his fists and stood up starting to exit the room.  
"Good. Because I don't date immature jerks." Sebastian smirked at Kurt's words.  
"Wow," he dragged the word out as he got up and crossed the room slowly. "That really hurt my feelings. I'm wounded."  
"Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it," Kurt replied.  
"Where'd you get that comeback, fifth grade?"  
"Where'd you get yours? 'How To Be a Douche for Dummies'?"  
"Clever, Hummel." Sebastian sneered, backing Kurt into a bookshelf.  
"You bet I am."  
"I was using sarcasm."  
"Maybe you should use it better!" Kurt replied heatedly with a tilt of his head. On impulse, he pushed Sebastian's chest, attempting to shove him away. Sebastian only chuckled darkly and pressed Kurt into the bookshelf.  
"I hate you!" Kurt seethed.  
"I hate you, too." Sebastian replied.  
Then Kurt tilted his head up and smashed his lips into the taller boys'. They sucked and bit at each other's mouths, fighting for dominance, aiming to hurt. When Kurt tasted blood, he pulled away.  
"You cut my lip, you dick!" He yelled at Sebastian, punching him in the chest. The taller boy caught the punch and whispered, "come home with me."

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**Let me know if you liked it! :) Hope all is well with all of **


	3. You're a Saucy Boy

**Hope you guys enjoy this! If you guys have any prompts or ideas for drabbles I can do, let me know. I'll dedicate them to you. :) And I'll love you forever. **

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There is a knock on the dorm room door, but it is barely audible over the music and general mayhem of the raging party going on within the room. The knock repeats.

An agitated Kurt decides he'll wait twenty seconds, knock again, then leave if there's no answer. Dumb college kids always do this to the pizza boys- he's used to it. He may be a college kid himself, but he prides himself on not being a dumb one.

Just as he's about to leave, a heavily intoxicated Sebastian opens up the door and stumbles into the hallway. Kurt stares at him, unimpressed.

"I brought your pizza. Do you have the money? Because if you don't I'll leave." Kurt threatens. He doesn't feel like dealing with some drunken college kid.

To his surprise, Sebastian's reaction is to throw himself into Kurt's arms. Kurt is now carefully balancing four pizzas... And a teenage boy.

"You're much too hot be a pizza man." Sebastian breathes in Kurt's ear in a way the boy probably thinks is sexy but is just gross. His breath is rank. "You want me to give you a tour of my bed?"

Sebastian licks Kurt's neck slowly, but before he can do a single thing more, Kurt jumps away from him, dropping the pizzas. He begins to walk down the hall away from the party, away from the boy who drunkenly came onto him, away from the dumb college kid.

Sebastian chuckled, grinning widely. He picked up the pizzas and ran into his dorm room amidst the drink and sex and drama.

"Free pizza!"

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**I don't know why, but this drabble really made me sad. Probably because there was a lost Kurtbastian opportunity there... Oh well. They're dumb. **

**Give me prompts? Yes? Or reviews?**


	4. You Can Top My Pyramid

**So.. I went through a few versions of this because the originally was very dubcon-ish.. this version is less like that, but it still has those undertones. So I guess I don't really like it for that reason, but I still do kind of like it, because who doesn't like Cheerio!Kurt and Badboy!Sebastian, I mean, come on, those boys are fiiiiiiiiiiiiine! Umm... anyway... There's a drabble down there. Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. It wasn't supposed to be dubcon-y. I hope I succeeded in fixing it, but I might not have. **

**Review and let me know if I did? **

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"Hey, sexy." Sebastian, McKinley High's resident Badass with a capital B, greeted Kurt, McKinley's head cheerio- for the moment. "I love a man in uniform."

"The only people you see in uniforms often are police officers!" Kurt retorted, ignoring the fact that Sebastian sees him and the rest of the cheer squad in their uniforms daily. He always enjoyed their banter, though he'd never admit it to anyone. Sebastian was downright.. sexy. "Now back off before I get a restraining order on you."

He called over his shoulder and continued strutting down the hallway, smirking as all the students parted ways for him to walk. He wanted to make sure Sebastian was staring at his butt. Kurt checked behind him quickly, and the taller boy was definitely staring at his ass.

Sebastian took longer strides until he caught up to the supposed HBIC. He turned the shorter boy around and slipped his arms around Kurt's waist. Kurt secretly loved the way the other boy's arms felt around him, but he had to keep up the charade.

"Oh, baby. I love it when you get feisty." Sebastian purred into his ear, slipping his tongue out of his mouth to lick the shell. Kurt shrieked- that was just gross.

"EW! Get OFF me! You probably haven't bathed in weeks and you're touching me all over the place and you LICKED me UGH STOP STOP!" He squirmed in Sebastian's arms to no avail; the taller boy simply held him tighter and smirked much harder than he had been previously.

"You are much too fun to play with, pet." Sebastian laughed in Kurt's face at the boy's struggle. "Just give in." Now this was a competition- no matter how much Kurt liked Sebastian, and how attracted to Sebastian Kurt was, he could not give in. He had to win this.

"In your dreams!" Kurt started to stamp on Sebastian's combat boots with his tennis shoe-clad feet. It had no effect on the taller boy- Sebastian began to lean his head forward, his intent obvious. Kurt looked down, trying to figure out how he could win this power struggle and come out as the victor. Aha! He grabbed a chain on the boy's pants and yanked on it, sending the pants hurling to the ground.

Sebastian felt cold air hit places cold air should never hit during school. He immediately let go of Kurt and grabbed his pants with both fists, attempting to drag them back up on his hips desperately. Kurt let out an unattractive guffaw as the usually slightly-menacing bad boy was reduced to blushing and stuttering. Kurt had won their little competition; he had proved himself.

When Sebastian's pants had been properly situated back on his hips, he met Kurt's eyes and nodded his head. They were at an understanding; they were worthy partners for each other. Another blush- brighter this time- graced Sebastian's face, and Kurt smiled beautifully at the sight. Maybe… just maybe… something could come from this. Something meaningful, beautiful, and powerful. Something life- changing.

"Want to… go get coffee or something..?" Sebastian asked politely, wincing as the question left his lips.

"Want to go have hot steamy sex somewhere and never talk about it again?" Kurt suggested, putting his hand on his hip.

"Hell yes!" Sebastian agreed readily, grabbing Kurt's arm and dragging him into the nearest bathroom.


	5. An Understanding

**Not an amusing chapter- it's kind of sad. :( Character death- spoiler: Sebastian's dad. Oh no. I just spoiled the whole drabble. Darnnit. Oh well. You'll have to read it anyway since it's so short. haha Enjoy it anyway. Love you all!**

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Kurt looked up at all the city lights surrounding him. The billboards for Broadway shows lit up advertising for Book of Mormon and Wicked, Jersey Boys and Hair. The Disney store played music loud enough that he could hear it from the opposite end of Time Square. He could smell the chocolate from the M&M store. He could smell the perfume coming from Forever 21. He was run into by people going to and fro around him, rushing back and forth, but he didn't care. He was in New York. What could possibly ruin this moment for him?

"Hey, lady." A sneering voice called behind him. Kurt cringed. He knew that voice. It was literally the only voice that could possibly ruin this moment for him. He turned around to find.. Sebastian.

"What are you doing here, Meerkat? This is pretty far away from the Savannah, isn't it?" Kurt couldn't help but whip out the insult. It was second nature around the other boy.

"I'm just going to college. No big deal. Columbia. But whatever. What are you doing, Kurt? Scoping out which corner is best to beg on? You going to take after your father?" Sebastian retorted after bragging about his choice of college. Kurt didn't like to think about how Sebastian's comments actually did hurt him, but they did.

"My father is the greatest man alive. So much more respectable than your scum of a dad." Kurt practically spit at Sebastian. At that, the other boy visibly crumpled. The previously haughty attitude and permanently in-the-air nose fell. With one sentence, Sebastian Smythe decomposed before Kurt's eyes. Kurt tilted his head to the side, silently asking what was wrong.

Sebastian coughed uncomfortably and admitted quietly, "umm.. my dad died a few weeks ago.." Kurt gasped and pulled the other boy into a hug. A tear ran down Sebastian's cheek as he thought about it. He tried to stop it, but an onslaught of emotions hit him, and soon he was a mess. Kurt held him tighter and tighter. He never thought he would feel something like empathy for Sebastian, but he knew almost exactly how Sebastian felt.

Kurt pulled away gently, keeping one hand cupping the boy's cheek.

"Do you want to go for coffee and talk to me about it?" He offered. With a nod from Sebastian, they went off.

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**Review maybe?**


	6. That Wasn't Pee

**A/N:** In honor of Father's day! I felt bad since I killed of Seb's dad in the last one shot. I figured I should give some daddy love in this one. That sounded really gross and incest-y. It wasn't supposed to sound that way… Because this is definitely not incesty. It might be kind of gross depending on how you look at it, but it is definitely not incest. Okay, we are back to funny one- shots! Yayyyyyyy! At least, I think it is funny. Anyway…

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"Come on, Seb! We have to surprise him!" Kurt whined at his boyfriend. It was Father's Day, and Kurt had to do something for his dad. Sebastian was, of course, roped along even though the boy was terrified of Burt Hummel.

"No. Absolutely not." Sebastian shook his head stubbornly and stuck his heels into the ground. His attempt to keep Kurt from dragging him up the stairs of the Hudmel house completely failed. Kurt yanked him up, stair by stair, to Burt's room.

Kurt threw his father's door open, intent on waking Burt up, only to find him standing just short of the doorway pointing a shot gun at them.

"Oh my god!" Kurt yelled as Sebastian let out a high pitched, ear- piercing scream. The taller boy jumped into Kurt's arms, cowering at the sight of Kurt's father pointing a gun at them. "Dad! What are you doing!?"

Burt lowered his gun slowly. He was only wearing plaid boxers and a plaid flannel, but he was still a terrifying sight to behold- to Sebastian, at least.

"I.. I…" The older man struggled to find an explanation for the absurd situation. "I knew you were supposed to be out this morning, so when I heard rustling down stairs, I assumed we were being robbed. I was going to defend our house hold."

Kurt burst into laughter and set his boyfriend, who was still whimpering slightly, onto the ground.

"That's very heroic of you dad." He giggled. Burt frowned at him.

"Are you questioning my ability to fight off a robber?" He questioned his son. He was insulted by Kurt's laughter at the situation.

"Dad, I don't think anyone is going to find a man in mismatched plaid boxers and flannel very intimidating!" Burt glared at his son as Kurt slapped his knee in hysterics. Sebastian let out a nervous and obviously fake chuckle. He pretended not to be phased at all.

"It seems your boyfriend was quite intimidated. He seems to have pissed himself in fear." Burt smugly pointed at a wet patch in Sebastian's pants.

There was a really long moment of silence as Kurt and Sebastian slowly and simultaneously looked down at Sebastian's pants. Blushes crossed both of their faces, and Sebastian began to cough awkwardly.

"I think I'm going to go home." Sebastian stated in a rush, hurrying out of the house without so much as a goodbye. Burt looked at Kurt questioningly.

"Why'd that kid just run out that like?" Burt looked at his son suspiciously. Kurt bit his lip and decided to be honest with his father.

"…that wasn't pee."


End file.
